A list that is true - so true I hate to admit it applies to me

The below list is very intimidating to me. It rips me open. I am an over-thinker -- something I have always accepted but not advertised. Some of my thoughts are beautifully captured by Ms. Anna Bashkova -- hats off


  1. When you text us, just say exactly what you mean. Since we're already over-analyzing everything, we don’t need any more exercise for our brains. We hate games, especially texting games. Our need to find meaning in everything will usually build up conspiracy theories in our minds about what the period placement in your text means. Just tell us straight up what you mean.
  2. You decide where we’re going to eat. Otherwise we’ll both go hungry. And die. Don’t give us dining options, we'll give you pros and cons about each of ‘em, as we begin narrowing down our choices. Don’t do that to us. Just pick a place.
  3. We’re not jealous insecure control freaks, we’re just constantly thinking. That usually ends up with our minds playing out a bunch of horrible scenarios in which you’ve cheated or died. So when we call or text you, just text us back. It’s one less thing we have to think about.
  4. Please don’t take us on a typical first date where we end up interviewing each other. We hate small talk. We like things that are stimulating enough that we won't have to be mind-numbingly introspective for once.
  5. If we hurt your feelings and say we’re sorry, we are genuinely really sorry, so please accept our apology. Rest assured knowing that we have gone over all the details of our fight a million times over. We’re full of regret that we’ve upset you and this will not soon be forgotten.
  6. You can come to us with any problem. Seriously we love it, we have mad analytical ninja skills and we’ll tell you what that bitch really meant.
  7. You can laugh at us and tell us when we’re over-thinking when we proudly tell you that we “figured out” what someone “really meant” by something. It's cool. We actually love a break from our heads. If you can make us live in the moment we will worship the ground you walk on. Or something, I don’t know. Just don't be afraid to challenge us, okay? 
  8. We have soft, gooey centers under the hard exteriors. Could be why we are so introspective, but whatever, that’s dumb, we cool, we cool.
  9. You’ll be getting a lot of screenshots and vivid details. Take it as a compliment. It means we trust you with our rich inner worlds and value your opinion.
  10. “What is that random side pain? Is that normal? *googles symptoms* “WHAT!” Please relieve us and tell us you’ve experienced a pain similar to the one we're describing.
  11. We can't let things go easily. We're convinced that if we just run over the details one more time, we'll finally uncover some new understanding of the situation or it will somehow change the outcome. But that also means we remember everything. So don't try to bullshit us. We'll always find out the truth and our comeback bank is always fresssssh. I mean c'mon, you had to know the billions of hours we spent thinking had to count for something. 
  12. If you make us live in the moment, we'll hang on to you for life. Or until we start over-thinking again (just kidding.) But for real, we love to be in the moment, it’s just hard to find people stimulating enough for that.