Orwell says 2+2 = 5, and everybody agrees that Orwell is classic. But we know that 2 + 2 = 4. Also, I have proved in the past (YES< PROVED :P) that 4 = 5.

Subtracting 4 from both sides, we get 0 = 1, or 1 = 0, which also implies that ONE = NONE (concentrate now, this is important).

The statement ONE = NONE implies that the letter 'N' at the beginning of a word holds no value (you can see where i'm going from here right?)

From the obviously true statement P = P, we add the valueless N to either of the Ps and we get

*drumroll*

P = NP

Now where's my goddamn Ph.D.?