The story of how God got lost in his process of creation and how his chances of coming back are bleak - A probabilistic approach

A note on Facebook by Gogin Pushpalal, a friend of my friend Shaleen Mathur
Ok. Now this thing is long. Very long.

Warning: Highly atheistic content

Non-Technical Aspect

In the beginning, Father Time and Mother Nature bore two children. They named them God and Devil. The parents were very happy with the two bonny babies. The twins grew up with the Universe as their playground. However, they weren't spoilt, but brilliant and wonderful kids. Their cousins, the Angels and Demons, were fond of them as well. Mama and Papa wanted them to stand on their own feet and hence gave them puzzles and work in the Universe which the boys did with great vigour. They specialized in creation of life, a field their parents were very proud of. One day, Devil asked his brother "Bro, what say, we do something killer huh"?
"Dude, we are supposed to be creating life here not doing killer stuff" he said.
"You are not getting me. Are you?"Devil asked.
"Of course I am not. Do you think I am able to read your mind?" he asked
"Yes you can. But then its something we agreed on."
"Yeah right. Now that you know it, shoot. I am working on a star here. Can't you see?" a bothered God asked his bother.
"Hey, I am working with you as well. Ok. Here goes. What say we play a game?" Devil asked.
"A game?" God asked him quizzically.
"Yes. A game."
"What about this game?" God asked interested.
"What say we create life in our form, and then play the game of reviving us back."
"Reviving us?" God asked raising his left eyebrow "Dude, you planning to get us killed or what?"
"Hey we are immortal remember? Only the toys that we create get killed" Devil reminded him
"Unless Pops or Mom blows us to bits or we annihilate ourselves that is."Devil said to himself.
"So what is this game you are talking about?" a curious God asked his brother.
"Look don't you get bored watching the same things again and again. The birth, the death, the this, the that. Dude, I get bored to be frank." Devil confessed.
"Yeah, so do I. Once in a while though." God agreed
"Now my game is that, we" he said pointing at the both of them "we create a life form that looks just like us and we" he said pointing at each other again "we live their life."
"You mean we give birth to ourselves, mate with ourselves and kill ourselves and all?"God asked
"Yeah something like that. For the moment keep the giving birth and the mating part away. Makes me feel a little wierd." Devil replied.
"Dude, we are going to kill ourselves man. Thats like Mom's first rule of Don'ts. Annihilation at your own risk. No resurrection guaranteed." God said remembering the first rules of Do's and Don'ts their mother had taught them. "Listen up man, we are perfect at the moment alright? Don't wanna screw up my 100% perfect record."
"Hey how often do you get to kill yourself and come back to life in some other part of the world?: Devil asked a little heated.
"That makes sense though. Sounds interesting" God said "Anyways what are we to do with a 100% perfect record?"
" My point exactly." Devil said pleased at his brother's mindset. "Now that we have come to an agreement. Lets begin the design."
"You are one cunning fellow. You know that?"
"My pleasure bro"
"Yeah yeah. Lets get to work. What do we call this life form man?"
"I don't know man."
"Lets call it Man"
"Yeah I know we have to call it. What do we call it?" Devil asked agitated.
"Dude I just said it. Its Man." he retorted.
"Hey that is just outrageous. You calling that thing Man?" Devil asked while into fits of laughter. "Man! Man! Dude you are crazy man. You calling it Man"
"Dude, couldn't help it man. Oh damn. I am saying man myself." God also started laughing.
"Dude we are tripping on some Universal Dust man. Oh this is ridiculous. What say we call it Dude?" and he started laughing again.
"Dude man. This is some trippy stuff. Dude or Man?"God asked.
"Choose one" Devil said with a slight malice in his voice.
"Don't you that tone with me"
"Ok man. Sorry" and he started laughing again "Dude I just said Man and now I said dude. I am going crazy." 
"Alright back to business Devil" God said with a straight face. 
"Fine fine. Lets go with the first one. Lets get on to project Man. Dude we need a formal name for it."
"Who? Man?" God asked
"Yeah, that will do." Devil said pleased
"What will do?" God asked confused.
"Human dude. Lets call it officially Human."
"Whatever makes you happy. All you have to remember is that we have to call ourselves these bizzare names."
"Its a game. Don't take it so seriously" Devil said getting irritated.
"So? We are involved in the damn game." an annoyed God said. 
"That ok. As long as we come out of it unscathed, its going to be awesome. We will ask those boring Angels and crazy Demons to record the entire thing and then we can have a long laugh after that while watching the entire thing." Devil said imagining the whole scene.
"Awesome awesome. Lets get it started." God said excitedly. "Lets start of with the properties."
"Hmm." Devil said deep in thought. "We are making this Man thing in our form right?" God nodded affirmative.
"So lets make it the same as us, with the same properties except for a few properties obviously."
"What is your point?"God asked trying to fall into his brother's wavelength. "See first of all we need to create a dimension of positives and negatives and I govern the positives."
"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Just let me understand the ehole concept." Devil said a little confused.
"See, we need a positive dimension where the humans do something positive and the negative dimension where they do something negative. And in my mind there are two words for it. Good and Evil."
"Hey that is like our name man. This is getting a bit too freaky.So is Good the negative dimension or the positive dimension?"
"The positive obviously. I am the Good because its closer to my name and you are the negative that is d Evil. See you go hand in hand. And plus you are one cunning fellow. So you can do total justice to this thing."
"Hmph. Loser taking the safe side. As usual"
"Shut up. You want to take it? Take it"
"Dude, just pulling your leg man. I was made for this stuff. Look how awesomely I am going to kill this thing."
"Yeah, thats probably something you will have to do a lot."
"Dude, that is gross man. Whatever, just a matter of time, I ll get used to it. I am The evil guy. Sounds awesome. And you are the good guy. Dude you sound lame."
"Shut up. You are just delaying it. So I ll list the characteristics and you say a yes or a no thats it nothing more. Get it?"
"Fine" said Devil and they started chalking off the characteristics.
"Immortality?" asked God
"Are you kidding?"
"A yes or a no Devil"
"Thats the same thing. My bad. No"
"Umm. ok"
And they went on listing them on and on till they were finally happy with the expected outcome.
"But I still don't know what we will do without telepathy man or Telekinesis. I ll have to do a lot of work man" God said feeling depressed.
"Big deal. Thesse things aren's going to last for long. Max a few million years and then we will be back. I need a punch line to say when I see their confused faces when we revive ourselves. What say 'So long suckers!' or..."
"Hey we still have to take Mom and Dad's permission" God cut his excited brother.
"That is the tough part. Anyways lets go search for Mom."
So the two boys went in search of Mother Nature for the nod to go ahead with the project. Searchin for their mother wasn't an easy task as she would be in one part of the Universe or the other or with some life form or helping uncle Universe with the creation of a galaxy or so.

Finally they found her working on the star the boys had left while talking about their possible adventure.
"What in the world wee you thinking leaving a star in the midst of it generation? Didn't you know the entire balance could be affected?" she asked infuriated.

The boys cowered with fear and apologised. 
"We thought it was done Mom." Devil said.
"Yeah" God supported his brother.

"Just kidding. Saw you guys talking something so was just doing a little bit of maintenance for this star. A slight problem with the Hydrogen composition."
"There goes your 100% perfect record." said the Devil
"Hey it was your mistake as well. I was adjust the composition when you came up with this wierd plan"
"Its not wierd. Accept it. You liked it as well."
"Yeah ok. Accepted."
"So what is it that you boys have been talking about?" asked Mother Nature
"Umm Mom. Its this plan that we came up with. A little bit of improvisation in the creation process" GOd started to explain.
"Uhuh. Go on. Enlighten me." Mom said.
The boys explained the entire plan and waited anxiuosly for their mother's reaction.
"You guys are going to be lost in yourself. Have you lost it?" she asked exasperated.
"Umm Mom, isn't that what dad also does. Get lost in time?" Devil asked innocently
"Don't you talk about your Dad like that, remember Don'ts rule number 2? God say it"
"Do not provoke your parents or uncle Universe into annihilating you. No ressurection guaranteed." God recited bored.
"He always knows how to unspin the web of time to get out of the mess. What is your plan huh? Any common platform where things do get executed? If you are keen on doing it I suggest you take your cousins with you."
"Not those buggers Mom" Devil grumbled.
"And we have a common platform. Its called mathermatics"God said coming to the rescue
"We have?" Devil asked quizzically
"Oh yeah mathem.. mathematisc.. mathemtatics" Devil mumbled
"Mathematics Devil." he corrected his brother and turned towards their mother saying"he is just getting used to the word."
And God explained the entire concept of the subject stressing on the main part of it - Probability
"Now you are making things up" their mother told them
"I think so too" Devil whispered to himself " and to think I was the strategist and disaster management expert. I am losing my touch."
"The plan is we provide a certain code into every Human by which as the generation passes we get passed down and through the phenomenon of probability, we revive ourselves again. It will just take a few million years. I promise. Please please please." God begged after explaining it. "And we are also incorporating our cousins into our plan. They will have a vital role in deciding the course of the human growth."
"These humans being?" their mother asked a little confused
"Oh Mom you are a genius. These human beings as we call them.."
"wait a moment you just called them human beings. Are you playing around with me?" she asked
"No the thing is we wanted a good name for this creature so what you said kinda sounded good. Its called Human Being. How does it sound?"he aked excited
"Don't care. I will agree to this thing on one condition. I get to design your environment" their mother said sternly.
"Mom we are old enough to do it." Devil interjected.
"Its either this or none and you are still kids for me. Comprende?" she said as firm as ever.
"That is ok Mom. He will sulk for a while but then its fine" God said giving his brother a stare.
"Alright. I ll leave you boys to plan ahead and catch you later." she said and went away.
"That is ok Mom. He will sulk for a while but then its fine" Devil mimicked his brother."Thanks for screwing me up man. But I got to hand it to you. Smooth move."
"Lets get to work again" God said all set.
(Eye of the tiger in the background)

"Two questions." Devil said.
"Shoot."God said eagerly waiting to answer his brother's questions.
"First. What is our back up plan and what is the code you were talking about?"
"Thats two"
"Fine I had three questions. Now answer me"
"Firstly, the back up plan is asking dad to reel back time and get us back"
"Wait. Are you crazy? Dad will get us back and cut out all out independence and we will be stuck with playing frisbee with some planet's ring.
"It is a back up idiot."God said agitated.
"Fine, the code?"
"That is something called genes that will be an important component of every creature in this creation.A speciality of mine, so that characteristics will be passed down from generations. This will be the first time I incorporate such a concept. Cool huh?"
"Whatever. Now my third question. Where did you get this sound from and what is this little planet ring doing here?" Devil asked lifting the queer object.
"Its called a song, rock in genre. The song is called eye of the tiger by a band called survivor. I got it when I time travelled with dad, for some inspirational stuff. Its insane man and this planet ring is called a disc you nitwit."
"I don't get crap. Anyways, if these are the things that we will be creating, its gonna be fun. Though I prefer Mom's singing to this." Devil said.
"And for your information, I take the Angels. You go party with the Demons" God said"After all I got you out of the mess.
"What?Fine fine. Just one request. Can I have Lucy with me?"Devil begged
"There is no Lucy" God replied
"Lucifer dude. He is the sensible one of the lot among Demons and he will be interested." Devil said

Technical Aspect

It took them 5 days to design the Solar system, provide the right environment and start off a new life form and complete a process of evolution which equalled 5 days. On the 6th day, God took the task of creating Man, the greatest project to date. It took him a few attempts to get the final blend of precision, perfection, accuracy, beauty, grandeur and class. And on the 7th day he was no longer there. So history assumed he took a break and thought we all should

At the end of creation, God and Devil divided themselves into two parts each. God into say God(A) and God(B) and Devil into Devil(A) and Devil(B). The As entered the first man's genetic data and the Bs entered the woman's genetic data. As the copulation and mating processes took place, the genes diluted. Initially, the both of them contained 50% of both God and Devil. As the mating and dilution took place, the proportion of genes varied in the progenies. Hence some had 30% of God(A) 10% of God(B) 40% of Devil(A) and 20% of Devil(B), the total percentage of their presence being 100%. So the probability of occurance of any of them could be anything from 0 % to 100% in the upcoming child. So according to the percentage of the Devil and God gene, it determines the type of person whether he or she is a good or a bad person. The sins, the deeds and all the attributes one could relate to a person being better or worse relative to a certain 50%-50% of both the genes could be determined through this. Angels and Demons have altered the course of mankind as was the will of the brothers.

Now consider the probability of having a certain percentage of presence of all four genes to be precisely the right amount in order to create both God and the Devil. The probability of the sperm cell containing that is 1 in a million as the ratio of their percentages vary equally. So if this sperm fertilizes with an egg, where the egg also through the process of meiosis returns a probabillity of 1 in a million. Hence, the probability of obtaining God or Devil would be 

P(G or D) = 1/{(1,000,000)^2}. In this world, humans are looking forward to the coming of God. Hence the probablility of God coming from one couple would be

P(G) = 1/{2*(1,000,000)^2} = 1/{2*10^12}

Now, through the ages, not considering the genocide and the bottleneck of the gene pool, lets say for the past one million years of human reign, there have been about 10 billion couples and since the gene pool gets diluted everytime, we have the probability of God being born in this generation to be

P(G) = 1/{2*(1,000,000)^(10^9)} that is in simple terms one half of one in (one million raised to a billion) in probability. 

Now, as God said in the begining about a code being saved in the genes, the concept is this.

Look at a DNA in the simplest form for analysis that is in 2-D. We have a rope of 8s. Now in an 8, there is a beginning, a peak and an end from which another part of it grows. Such is story of everything that happens in nature. Everythin has a birth, a growth and an end after which there exists a different form of that entity that grows on. So in this case, the same theory applies whereat a peak, the diluted genes may start coagulating and hence increasing in concentration, thereby reversing the probability. At the end of which one may expect the birth of either God, Devil or maybe both. This can happen only years down the line and through the help of a catalyst to u-turn the process.

So unless the catalyst exists, there are no chances of either of them coming back to this world unless Father Time reverses the entire process and gives the boys a chance to change where the mistakes happen.